Friday, December 25, 2015

Merry Sexy Christmas!!

In case you missed this in the Blissemas event, here it is again... Merry Christmas all my sexy friends!!

I love the holidays and believe that Santa loves my kind of naughty! In that belief, I’ve re-written a couple of holiday songs with my own twist. Now you’ll know some things I’d like to find under my Christmas Tree this year ;-)

Xtra: 12 Hot Inches of Christmas

On the 1st hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 2nd hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 3rd hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 4th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 5th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 5 cock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 6th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 7th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 8th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 9th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me…  9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 10th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 10 tongues a licking, 9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 11th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 11 pimps pimping, 10 tongues a licking, 9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 12th hot inch of Christmas, my true slave gave to me… 12 glory holes, 11 pimps pimping, 10 tongues a licking, 9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

Xtra: Secret Sex Slave

Here is one of my favorite, fun Christmas songs, rewritten because I don't really want a hippopotamus for Christmas ;-)  I'd much rather have this:

I want a secret sex slave for Christmas
Only a secret sex slave will do
Don't want a plug, no other adult toys,
I want a secret sex slave to play with and enjoy

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a secret sex slave naked standing there
I want a secret sex slave for Christmas

I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use his dirty little elves,
Just bring me my hot sex slave and let me have a screw

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a secret sex slave naked standing there

I want a secret sex slave for Christmas
Only a secret sex slave will do
No one-night stands, no guy who's listless
I only like secret sex slaves who don't put up a fuss

And secret sex slaves seem to like me too

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a secret sex slave naked standing there

Yes, the sex slave would eat me all night long,
Extended multi orgasm will make me sing this song.

There's lots of room for him in my dungeon/garage
He'll feed me there and wash me there and give me my massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a sex slave naked standing there

I want a secret sex slave for Christmas
Only a secret sex slave will do
No one-night stands, no one who's listless
I only like secret sex slaves who kiss
And secret sex slaves seem to like me too!

Now, please tell me what you’d like to find under your Christmas tree this year! Write your answer in the comments below or make any comment for a chance to win an Amazon gift card or another yummy prize!

Thank you, Victoria Blisse for hosting another fabulous Blissemas!

You can read much more, including one of my favorite holiday stories, “Stuffing the Holiday Virgin” in my new collection: 69 Wild Sex & Porn Stories! And of course, I’d love to meet you on Twitter, I’m @almostfreesex You can learn more and hear me read a sexy excerpt at

Saturday, December 19, 2015

It's another sexy day of Blissemas over at our friends at It's day 20 and you can read some yummy naughtiness from Tanith Davenport  AND you can have a chance to win an awesome layered sexy bracelet set! Wear them all at once or pick one that fits your mood.

Here's a sneak peak of what you can win:

Love & kisses,

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Snogs in the Snow...

Hope you enjoy this yummy kissing scene from the story "Truth or Dare" from the brand new book 69 Wild Sex & Porn Stories available now!!

I rarely go to a bar or hang out drinking, it’s just not my thing. But on this snowy night, I’d gone to The Nutcracker ballet with a couple, Jodie and Bill, I met recently. I don’t know them well, but they invited me to join them, so I did. After the holiday event, they suggested going to a local bar they frequent. On the walk there, they mentioned hoping the “hot pot” was open. I didn’t ask what that meant as I was enjoying the walk on the warm evening.

We arrived, and I could see this was fairly ordinary bar and grill, but a bit darker than expected. Nothing fancy, people dressed casually, but I did notice what must be the “hot pot.” I laughed aloud and when Jodie asked, I told her I’d heard her mention the hot pot and wondered what she was talking about, now I knew. The hot pot was a large round booth like thing in the middle of the room, above it hung a very large, wooden, old-fashioned wagon wheel with a very dim, glowing blue Christmas tree with white lights in the center, making it look a bit like a decorated pot lid. It looked like it could fit 8-10 people. “Looks like it’s taken,” I said.

Jodie’s frown turned to a smile and replied, “Those are friends of ours, let’s join them. They are a fun group.”

Seated in the hot pot, were a couple, John and Sabrina, and 2 single guys, Dave and Pete. I was introduced and welcomed in. Dave stepped out to let me sit between him and Pete. I laughed and sarcastically thought to myself, “nice, this is going to be a great night.” It started a bit slow, people just chatting about nothing, but after getting cozy in the comfy hot pot booth and having my second shot, I suggested we play a game. Since I don’t carry board games or cards in my purse, I suggested Truth or Dare.

Jodie’s friends had 2 hours of drinking on us, so they were really excited to play the game. John popped up and wanted to go first and ask his girlfriend, Sabrina. She was nice, but seemed to fit the dumb blonde jokes, maybe she was just drunk. Anyway, he asked “Truth or Dare?”

Sabrina chose Truth. He asked her, “At what age did you lose your virginity?”

I thought it an odd question for your girlfriend, don’t they talk about these things. Typical a guy would ask such a dumb question. She giggled answered, “15.”

John began asked “to whom” and as she began to answer, I interrupted and said he must save that for another turn. John gave me the evil eye. But Sabrina thanked me for the save and asked me “truth or dare.”  

I went straight for the dare. She was flustered because she had a great truth question on her mind and hadn't had a chance to think up a good dare, so she blurted out, “I dare you to kiss the waiter!”

I’d had 2 more shots by then, and I was definitely getting into a naughty holiday spirit, so I accepted the dare. The waiter was handsome with dark wavy hair, with an exotic look like he might be from an island country. I think it was his eyes that made him seem exotic and his accent was so hot and sexy. I bet he makes great tips from all the single ladies. The waiter brought another round of shots to our table and I excused myself from between Dave and Pete and stood next to our waiter and asked, “May I kiss you?”

He blushed, smiled and replied, “It’s not every night a gorgeous sexy woman asks to kiss me out of the blue, so yes, you may kiss me.”

I looked up and we were directly under the odd Christmas tree above the hotpot. I looked into his eyes, put my hand on the side of his face, stroked it down to his neck and onto his chest as my other hand reached behind his head and pulled him nearer to me. My lips were slightly parted, as they moved closer to his. I did this on purpose to totally get all the guys excited. I think it worked because I looked over at them out of the corner of my eye, and I saw some fidgeting from what I hoped were hard cocks in their pants.

Then I ran my right hand from his chest down to his hard belly and around to the small of his back, pulled him closer, I swear I could feel a boner on the rise... and then gently moved my lips to his, kissing him softly, my hand running over the back of his head through his wavy hair, then kissing him a bit harder, even slipping the tiniest tip of my tongue on his lips and tongue, kissing him for what seemed like an eternity that was probably a total of 2 minutes for the encounter. Then I slowly gently pulled away, said thank you, gave him a smile, and slipped a $20 into his back pocket.

Then I sat back down, all mouths were on the floor. I just smiled and thought to myself amateurs! haha they didn't know me, I didn’t know them and I just let it all go that night I decided I'd just be whoever I desired to be in each moment, without worrying about reputation, about anything, I was just there to have some fun. The waiter just stood there for a moment too, savoring the kiss and allowing the bulge in his pants to subside before serving his next customers. He smiled, winked at me, then thanked me for the kiss, and let us know he was available for any future dares. 

So it was now my turn, what a tough choice I had, there were still 4 people who hadn’t yet participated. So I decided to ask one of the single guys, Dave, the one I had no interest in - the other was a sexy hot pot. So I asked “truth or dare?”

He said, “I better stick to truth from you.”

So, I asked, with a slight evil grin, “Tell me one fantasy that you’ve never told anyone… ever.”

He squirmed a bit in his seat, “well, um....

You'll have to download the book to read the rest of the story ;-)  OR comment here, let me know if you'd like to be kissed like this, for a chance to WIN a free pdf of  "69 Wild Sex & Porn Stories

And be sure to check out other great Snog/Kissing scenes here!


Thursday, December 3, 2015

Free Cam? Another oldie, but goodie!

Today's question comes from Barry...

Love your stories, can you tell me where i can find women who love to cam, without paying for it? thank you.

Thank you, Barry! I'm glad you enjoy my stories :-)

hmm... well, I have to say I understand it's probably difficult to find because there are TONS of ads, sites, posts, inviting you to join "free" cams, but you only get a hi and quick conversation without paying for more. So, where can you find some sexy ladies who really get into it just for fun and pleasure?

It's a weird question because I can't imagine ever doing something like that just for pleasure lol  I know that many men will pay for it, so why do it free? That could be the thought of many women who do enjoy it and love it, but see it as a great way to make extra income. 

What's the solution? keep looking and maybe you'll eventually get lucky ;-)  but here are a few sites you can check out. There are still lots of ads on these sites, but have some conversations in the forums, look for average looking women writing somewhat average, but little naughty comments - those are the ones most likely to get hot and bothered in a free chat that could lead to a free cam session. Women like me, "in the business," will have hotter pictures, will have naughtier posts, things that attract men and lure them to us and our products and services.

Good luck and enjoy yourself!



Monday, November 30, 2015

Help, how do I tell my girl my bisexual fantasies

Today's question comes from a friend...

Coach Macy, I have been having a lot of bisexual fantasies and want to share my wife. How can I achieve what I want and still let her know she is the #1 in my life or is this a bad idea? 



Sweetie, this can be tricky because you don't want to blurt it out and have her freak out... so you have got to take this one SLOW!

Depending on how much you two already share, or what type of entertainment you enjoy, here are a few suggestions for beginning the conversation:

If you watch porn together, do you ever watch girl-on-girl? I ask because this tends to be popular and fairly acceptable by women. If you do watch this, have you ever had a discussion about attraction to women or what she thinks about it? 

If you have watched, discussed, joked about it... could you bring up guy-on-guy with her in a comparison type scenario. So, for example next time watching girl-on-girl, you could ask, do you or your girlfriends think guy-on-guy porn is sexy the way men sometimes like girl-on-girl?


Maybe sometime after she has given you an amazing blowjob (or any blowjob ;-)  you could ask something like, "you lick me/suck me so good... it seems you get into it, what is it you like about it?" OR "you are amazing, what does it feel like when it's in your mouth"  this can simply get conversation about a cock in her mouth... maybe depending how that goes, you could say something like sometimes "I wonder what it's like, is that weird to wonder about?" just in easy conversation


Do you and your wife have anal sex ever?  Do you use your finger in her ass or a dildo?  Have you ever licked her ass?   

Does she finger your ass while giving you a blow job? Has she ever rimmed you? 

If yes to either situation, you could do a little more of that.. or if you have never done any type of anal play, you could start!  Start with asking her to rub behind your balls while giving you a blow job, direct her towards your ass... moan a lot and let her know you like it, maybe she will take the hint and do more, even penetrate with her finger... maybe not, but you can gently work up to it.

The idea is that you want to play in similar way to what you'd do if you were in a bisexual situation, so it can lead to a conversation about your fantasies eventually. You have to feel it out, but if you never talk about sex right now, then it's going to be a slow process because you'll have to build up the idea that you even talk about straight sex!

Eventually, hopefully, you could maybe hint at, joke about, watch a movie about 4somes! talk about how it might be hot to meet another married couple and fool around together. If she ever agrees to it, look for a couple that lists bisexual in their personal ad so you know that it could be a possibility and just take it one step at a time!

Hope this helps give you some ideas about how you might get started!


Thursday, November 19, 2015

Ask Coach Macy... yes, you can ask me anything! Here is an old fave... panty sniffing! ;-)

Okay, now this is a fun dilemma!

A friend on, who asked not to be named, sent me this note:

Not sure if you can help me, but i'm becoming obsesed and don't know what to do about it!! lately, I keep waiting till my girlfriend goes to sleep, then i sneak out of bed to the bathroom where we keep our dirty clothes. She always sleeps naked, so her panties are fresh, sometimes even still moist when I pull them out - I just sniff and sniff them like I can't get enough holding them tight agaiist my nose and jerk off with my other hand. i don't dare cum in them cause she might see that when she does laundry plus I love smelling them as i cum! I do it almost every night now - how do i stop? Im afraid she will catch me and freak out.

I don't knew what to do Macy, help!

Well, so many things to address, where do we begin :-)

1 - There is nothing wrong with sniffing her panties! Even in secret, it's okay, there is nothing wrong with you. The scent of your girlfriend turns you on - that is a GOOD thing!

2 - Maybe or maybe not she will freak out if she catches you. She will probably be surprised, yes. If she does catch you she might wonder why you are being so secret about it - the fact that you are worried and stressed about it will trigger her to be stressed about, maybe even freak out too.

So, what to do about it? Well, what is your desire?

Do you want to continue in secret? Is that part of the turn-on for you?


Would you like her to also be turned on by you sniffing her panties, enjoying her scent? Do you wish you could do it more openly or even just tell her how much you like her scent?

I'm hoping you are going for the latter ;-) I can help you with that.

Here's how to introduce your turn-on to her... while getting undressed one night begin kissing her while she has her clothes still on, or at least her panties on. As you are kissing and touching her, move your mouth down her body, eventually getting to her panties with your hand, then your face and mouth... guide her to the bed for comfort so you can really get busy down there.

As you rub her through her panties, mention how it turns you on that she is so warm, even hot down there, that maybe she is turned on too and you love feeling her wetness - don't go too far if you think this will freak her out or turn her off, keep it really mild at first, work up if you need to.

As your face and mouth is there , say something simple like you love her scent, or that she smells good, that it turns you on that she is wet for you, things that make it about you and what you like, it can diffuse any apprehension she might have about her scent (sometimes women might feel that the sweaty end of day smell is not hot). Rub, even lick her right through her panties... you can slide them to the side too as you're playing down there. whatever it takes to get her to orgasm, do, but with her panties on, let her panties get even wetter through the sex play!  Then as she cums in/on her panties, quietly smell her scent, you don't even have to be obvious that you're doing it, just enjoy it for a moment.

Then show her and tell her how hard you are, how much you want her, how it turned you on to feel her cum in her panties, again, just do/say what feels natural and not forced. If you'd normally fuck her next, pull down her panties slowly, maybe even with your teeth, as you throw them to the side, quickly smell them and say how hot her wet panties are, then fuck her, make love to her, whatever you call it ;-)

Don't talk about it - if she says something, keep your answers simple, not obsessive LOL do this in little ways and over time, you can sniff them longer, eventually you may be able to ask her to masturbate with her panties on before she takes a trip somewhere, so you'll have her scent while she is away LOL

But start slow, and see what happens! In between, you can still sneak away once in a while to grab her panties out of the hamper for a midnight quickie.



Monday, November 16, 2015

Macy's Monday Musings... can forgiveness lead to even hotter sex life?

haha this was originally posted several months ago ago, but decided to repost it now as it's for sure on my mind!  And I do repeat this practice, the list is getting smaller.  :)

Macy’s Monday Musings
Well, remember when I was going to do a 40 day love fast?

Yeah, well, I went 8 days, then 7 days, then just forgot it…until recently as I mentioned a bit last week.  And guess what, I checked the calendar and it’s been 38 days!! Woo Hoo!!!

I’m pretty proud of myself and really, it’s feeling pretty good. J  I’ve had a few ‘dates’ but kept them non-sexual, have another date tonight with the main squeeze/soulmate, but keeping it just hanging out.
After the 40 days, well, I’m not sure, but I hadn’t really planned on the 40 days, it just felt good to be clearing myself and good to not have the pressure of “I have to do 40 days”  I’m not good with rules if you don’t already know that haha!

So that has been on my mind a bit today and in clearing myself, I’ve found that I also need to clear some other stuff. Stuff I didn’t realize I was kind of hanging on to. I thought I’d worked through things, all kinds of things, not just relationships, thought it was done, moved on, no hard feelings, no hate, and then one day realize that really I hadn’t totally let it all go.
So I’m doing that.


Well, as I was in a session today with an energy worker, she was feeling some issues around forgiveness, that I had been holding on to some resentments, some people that I may need to forgive. It suddenly occurred to me that really I hadn’t done that – I had moved on, forgave myself for many things, but really didn’t forgive some people who affected my life in very definite, dramatic, some even in traumatic ways. In my mind, I began saying “I forgive you….” “I forgive you…” etc. 

And the list of people, especially men, was long, it continued, when I thought okay, maybe that’s it, another person would pop into my mind.

I’m the Empress of Love, spreader of happiness, and I missed something?

But, it’s okay. I forgive myself for forgetting to actually forgive those people who I’ve let go of and let go of any pain and moved on… but there was some little pieces of each of them that I’ve held on to. It’s time to let go of those little pieces that are affecting me today in subtle, yet powerful ways and that yes, hold me back from fully embracing my own amazing self.
So I’m doing it tonight after date night ;-)  and it's clearing up any leftover stuff so I can truly move to even more amazing intimacy and affection and yep, super hot multi-orgasmic sex!

When I get home, I’m going to do this practice. You might want to try it to, to forgive yourself or someone else. It’s a simple practice, do it anytime you need, as many times as you need to let it go.
Using a post-it note size paper, do these four steps. Yep, it all fits on a post-it note! It’s not about the details of the event, it’s just about the forgiveness and letting go. Of course, if you have worked through some things, you may need to talk to a counselor or coach and work through the tough stuff with someone, but at the same time or afterward, use this forgiveness practice to bring more peace to you.

Step 1: greeting
Example: Dear ____ or Hi ____ or Hey there ____ (BTW this can be addressed to YOU! Ex: Dear Macy,)

Step 2: forgiveness
Example:  I forgive you for ______ or I forgive you for not being able to forgive you yet (maybe we can’t actually say it yet)

Step 3: Letting go
Example: I am moving on or I have moved on and ____ or  I like you anyway (if appropriate or if writing to yourself)   or I’ll keep practicing until I do forgive you or I’ll keep forgiving you until I can move on

Step 4: closing

Hugs, sincerely, love, etc.

That’s it!  Then tear up the note, burn it, whatever you need to do. If you want to hang on to, hmm… okay, but don’t hang on to it long. The point is to LET GO J
Of course, it’s not magic, it’s a practice. When the stress or hurt of something comes up, write this note of forgiveness, tear it up, then DO something. Go for a walk, do a puzzle, watch tv, dance, whatever, but do something that physically and mentally takes your mind off the topic.

Then next time it pops up, do it again… as many times as needed for as long as needed.

Big hugs, hope this also helps you clear yourself to allow even more love and hot sex into your life!



Thursday, November 12, 2015

Ask Coach Macy... sharing past questions.. do I make up my stories?

Today's question comes from twitter friend dWayne.

dWayne asks...

 question: do you have to actually do the sex to write about it or can you just - make it up? 

Thanks for asking, dWayne!

Well, I'm an excellent and creative actress and role player. During my time as a phone sex girl, I heard and shared lots of stories and fantasies without have actually done them... many of those I can't actually write about and publish because they would cross boundaries of what is acceptable in mainstream erotica and porn. LOL yeah, it's a crazy, sexy world out there.
Anyway, so a lot of what I write about comes from real life experience... yep, I have really done some of what I write about ;-) sometimes it's the exact scene. Some of my writing has been embellished to make it more juicy and fun for you as my reader... and some sure, it's just made up!

I'll never tell... like to keep my sexy friends guessing ;-)



Monday, November 9, 2015

Um, yeah, she could've handled it differently, but she is right

dude234 asks...

Coach Macy, 

Met a new girl a few weeks ago and last night we finally gonna to do it - but she freaked out when she got to my house and saw a little cold sore on my lip. I said, fine, don't kiss me, but we can still fool around - but she said no way, she was not going to date someone with herpes! WTF?  I don't have herpes, I just had a fu**ing cold sore. She said "cold sores are herpes" and left. BITCH I tried calling her, but she wont pick up!! I don't give a shit now, but I just wanna tell her shes a bitch and wrong. Love your stories-and your huge tits in tha purple bra and if their true, well you know the answer lLOL




Thanks for the love!  But, sorry babe, the "bitch" could be right. Most cold sores are herpes, HSV I - which is a bit different than herpes, HSV II (the traditional genital herpes)... BUT here is the important thing you MUST KNOW NOW:

a herpes cold sore CAN absolutely be transmitted to another person and cause genital herpes!!!

Here is a good example, Dude... you meet a hot chick at the bar, it's dark, you don't notice her little cold sore, and go back to your place... she gives you a blow job without a condom, you fuck her with a condom, she leaves. You don't get her name or number... soon though your cock feels funny, you see a sore, then another, you're in pain, finally you go to the doctor - BAM you've got herpes!! Now, you'll have herpes I, but it's still on your cock and it's still herpes - and it's still forever.

So, if you have a cold sore - don't kiss a girl, don't suck a girl's tits, don't lick her pussy or ass... NOTHING ORAL - got it! You can still fuck her, highly recommend condom EVERY TIME, you can still fool around, let her suck your cock, highly recommend WITH a condom on.

There is NO safe sex... period

Not to burst the bubble on all the porn fantasies I write about ... but come on, be safe, Dude! I love ya and need you to keep reading my smut LOL protect yourself. Wonder if I'm right? Get the facts here: 



Monday, November 2, 2015

Macy's Monday & monogamy?

Macy’s Monday Musings

I’ve pondered lately the idea that maybe, just maybe I’d like to try a monogamous relationship, a deep, intimate, soul mate type relationship that is may not last forever, but is a commitment in the now.
It’s been a long time since I have even had a generic, run of the mill, ordinary, and monogamous relationship and much much longer since I was with someone who was like a soul mate, a best friend and lover and teller of secrets… that was probably 20 years ago!

Sure, I’ve had boyfriends, but never longer than a year, maybe year and a half. So several years ago, I decided why bother even having a monogamous relationship, they hadn’t worked out in my first 40 years of life, what would make me think they’d work out then. So, I decided what I wanted was to have amazing lovers with smart, successful, sexy, kind men!
And guess what?

That is just what I did and of course I threw into the mix a few stable boys that were great in bed and kind, but not men I was specifically attracted to as even potential public dating options. I know, I’m a snob. I have a reputation, a good one in my public life. I’m smart (school smart, not just street smart), educated, philanthropic, successful, well-known in my communities, etc. So, my image is important to me and honestly the last couple monogamous “boyfriends” I had, well, some people had no idea I was even dating them, they just thought we were friends or working together on projects. That is how different they saw those men. Honestly, it is tough to find people in general that are on the same level of thinking and living that I’m on. Which is probably a good thing, because if everyone were always searching for something more, some higher level of consciousness to move to, to live in… well nothing would get done. Trust me. I see a shiny object and think, “oh my, what is that, let me try that next.”
I laugh, you may laugh, but it’s true.

So it’s not really that I’m a snob, I just haven't appreciated the reliable, what I might call ordinary relationships that most people desire: someone to come home to, to sleep with at night, instead I’ve been attached to secrets and sex for a long time, really my whole life (yeah, watch for more on this in the future)
Maybe that is part of the problem in having long term relationships, I get bored or lose the excitement, so I have to move on. In part too, I didn’t know how to truly love on a deep, intimate level that includes physical, sexual relationship as well. Okay, I’m probably not a great friend either, I don’t stay in touch, or follow up… hmm… that can be another post about my life in general ;-)

So, anyway, now that I’ve been practicing happiness quite a while and practicing self-love a few years now, I’m learning also to have those deeper, long term relationships – in a non-monogamous setting.
Maybe I’m ready to move to deep, monogamous relationships…. Short or long term, I’m open to what happens, not attached to the outcome, but very attached to being in the present experience to a much higher level than ever before… in a healthy way.

That is scary to me because to do that, I need to end my current, happy, long term, non-monogamous relationships or at least move them in that direction. If I’m attached to those non-monogamous relationships, then there is less room for a monogamous to develop.
I think I’m ready.

In fact, it’s been happening for me a bit, what we think about we attract, right? Law of attraction is powerful!
So, my main squeeze, my soul mate, but not life mate of 5+ years, we’ve been less intimate in recent months due to health condition on his part, some travels, and now, my body has been making me feel less sexy with skin condition flare-ups. Skin issues are my thing, I’ve got 3 or 4 conditions that come and go and right now one has come and stayed a while, with some moderate pain and discomfort as well as a non-sexy look ;-)

Because of that and the fact that my stable boy is now living with roommates and in a house that are all, well, I guess yeah, I’m a snob. Or maybe I just like non-sticky floors and non-stale smoke filled air. I like to breath. Last time I succumbed to my hormones and went over there, I left my coat and bag in the car, went into the bedroom, took off my clothes and made him take them out to the porch! And the heat in the room was broken by a cold breeze through the open window which was a condition of my visit.
When that happened, I realized I may have a problem.

Am I addicted to sex, no… but I do really love orgasms!!!
After that night, a few month ago, I’ve avoided the stable boy's constant invites and pleas to worship and ravish my body. I have to say it’s so tempting! I think that is part of my recent stress that triggered the skin condition so I’d have an excuse to avoid having amazing hot sexy extended multiple orgasms.

Sigh, I want those things, but I just don’t want them under those conditions with that man.
I also haven’t had multiple extended orgasms with main squeeze in a while. Again, me avoiding a little bit because of stuff, but he and I will always be friends, always be close, and always love each other. But he has other women in his life and I’ve had other men. It’s just the way it is.

The only other, kind of current, man lives in another state. Oh my, when he and I are together, wow! Always one of my favorite people to kiss and make out with. My favorite man to wake up with and make love to in the morning (have never woke up with main squeeze, so it's not that anyone is better). Too bad in the over ten years I’ve known him, he has not been emotionally available and only occasionally physically available. Each time I talk with him on the phone or see him in person, I never know if that is the last time. Yes, it’s that infrequent. But it’s so good that I always say yes when we have the opportunity. I want to say no, but interestingly he is finally after all this time, calling more often and actually talking about really scheduling a getaway with me to new places. In the past, I’ve only ever seen him in the state he lives in, where I also lived when we first met. Nearly every time I go back there, he makes time for me and we have amazing visits, sometimes take road trips, go on dates, and spend nights together, he has even drawn baths for me. It’s like a perfect match for those few days, then it’s over.
There have been a couple other men in the picture in the past couple years, significant, but not in my present. I’ll probably share about them in the future, as I share a bit more about some triggers that took me to a pretty dark place recently and may be pushing me to clear my relationships now. But it’s too deep and too dark to write about now.

Let’s just leave off today with the idea that maybe, just maybe, I’m ready to put all this relationship, love, and intimacy practice together into one amazing monogamous experience.
I’m open and getting ready.